elenitahb:

MAW MAW: What.. What the hell…? Where are…? Who…? Who are you people? Wh- why are we touching each other?
VIRGINIA: Maw Maw, we’re your family. And we’re doing a back-rub train in your living room. It was your idea.
MAW MAW: I want to be in the front.
BURT: No. No way!
MAW MAW: I want to be in the front.
BURT: Maw Maw, we already decided on positions. I did rock, Virginia did scissors, and you did something that looked like a turtle, which caused a very long discussion during which you spit on me twice. But then we agreed, by a vote of two to one, that rock beats turtle.

Raising Hope; 1.13 - A Germ of a Story

We could rock-paper-scissors for it. But I need to know up front if turtles are allowed, and if so, where they fall in the food chain.

elenitahb:

JIMMY: Mom, I need to make a little room in here for Dad’s pool chemicals. Can we maybe pick a few items that you might not need?
VIRGINIA: I need everything in here.
JIMMY: You need this box of towels racks? Because not only have I never seen anyone in this house hang up a towel, we only have one bathroom.
VIRGINIA: We do now, but we don’t know how many bathrooms we’re going to have when your father and I get our own place.
JIMMY: Do you think you’re going to have 20?
BURT: We might. I’ve been getting really close with the lottery lately. Two weeks ago, I got one number. Last week I almost got two. I think she’s getting ready to bust wide open.
VIRGINIA: What’s tonight’s jackpot up to?
BURT: $46 million.
VIRGINIA: Nice! I’m glad we didn’t win last week. Now we can get a house and a boat.

Raising Hope; 1.03 - Dream Hoarders